Sexuality And Sex Therapy
Edward A. Dreyfus, Ph.D.

SEX AND AGING

There is no reason for elderly persons to discontinue sexual activity merely because of the aging process. Human beings can enjoy an active sexual life well on into their 80s or beyond. Many senior citizens hold onto invalid beliefs about their sexuality believing that sex should be reduced or eliminated during the latter years of one’s life. Enjoyment of sexual relations is largely a function of the breadth of activities in ones repertoire and the degree to which one is open to learn and explore. Again we can use our dancing analogy. It is true that as we age we may no longer be able to jitterbug or engage in a fast mambo. However, we can develop a beautiful waltz and fox trot. New forms of sexual activity can be added to the sexual experience. One of the problems faced by many elderly folks is that they believe in the adage that you “can’t teach an old dog new tricks.” Nothing could be further from the truth. There are many things that we can no longer do or do as well or in the same way as we could when we were younger. However, we are perfectly capable of discovering alternative ways of performing certain activities. Necessity gives us the opportunity to discover new approaches to old activities.

As we age we can become better lovers, depending on our attitude. Being a good lover does not mean doing sexual acrobatics or being able to orgasm a half dozen times. Being a good lover means that we are sensitive to our partner’s needs; we are responsive to their wants. Being a good lover means that we communicate and listen with an open heart and mind. It is unfortunate that we don’t learn these things when we are young. As we age we are “forced” to have to learn how to be good lovers because we cannot get by with the same old performance orientation. Aging gives us the opportunity to explore alternative lovemaking styles and techniques that we may have avoided when we were younger.

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For forty years Dr. Dreyfus has been practicing as a clinical psychologist and life coach in Santa Monica, California where he specializes in individual psychotherapy, relationship counseling, and sex therapy. He has recently published two books,
Someone Right for You: 21st Century Strategies for Finding Your Special Someone
and
Keeping Your Sanity (In an Insane World)
released by Xlibris and can be found at
www.SomeoneRightForYou.com
and
www.KeepingYourSanity.com.

For further information or consultation regarding psychological issues, or life coaching, you may contact Dr. Dreyfus by letter, phone, email, or fax.

You can e-mail him or call (310) 208-5700.