Thoughts on Mother’s Day

Today is Mother’s Day in the U.S.  For many people it is a day to celebrate and honor their mother. People all over the country are buying Mother’s Day cards, flowers, candy, balloons, and other ways of paying homage to their mothers.

But not all people will be celebrating. There are children who:

  • have never known a mother. Their mothers either died at childbirth or shortly thereafter.  Or were not able to care for them and therefore put them up for adoption. They may be grieving a mother they did not know.
  • have spent their lives in institutions craving a mother’s love. They envy those who have a mother.
  • have been abused by their mother’s and remember only pain.
  • whose Moms have recently died. For them the holiday may a time of grieving or a time of remembrance.

And then there are mothers:

  • whose children don’t call, send cards or flowers on Mother’s Day.
  • who are in institutions spending their days in isolation.
  • whose children died through illness, accident, or wartime leaving them grieving on Mother’s Day.

So with these children and mothers in mind, I think of those of you who have mothers who have disappointed you, toward whom you feel angry or resentful from time to time; think about those who do not have a mother with whom to be angry or disappointed.  And for those mothers whose children have lifestyles that you disapprove of, or have disappointed you, I think of those mother’s who receive no cards.  I suggest that you allow yourself to be grateful for those children and mothers that you do have in your life rather than always hoping that they change to become the child or mother you had hoped for.

Remember the proverb, “I cried because I had no shoes, until I met a person who had no feet.”

[Dr. Dreyfus is a nationally recognized clinical psychologist, relationship counselor, sex therapist, and life coach in the Santa Monica - Los Angeles area treating low sexual desire, premature ejaculation, sexual addictions, drug and alcohol abuse as well marriage and relationship communication and intimacy issues. The profits from his latest book, LIVING LIFE FROM THE INSIDE OUT along with his other five books, are being donated to Chrysalis: Changing Lives Through Jobs and Make A Wish Foundation.  All of his books are available on Please become a fan on my Facebook Fan Page by indicating "like" on the page by clicking here. You can also find more tools to help you experience a more fulfilling life by clicking here to visit my website.]


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One Response to “Thoughts on Mother’s Day”

  1. Lizz says:

    Thank You for those thoughts, I speak as a mom who couldn’t biologically have children. tWe adopted a young boy aged 5yrs 9 months. He arrived sight unseen with the social worker and his lifes belongings in a garbage bag.
    He came into the world through a struggle. He was a “blue baby’ having suffered oxygen deprivation with the umbilical cord around his neck during delivery.

    This poor child was to suffer many more setbacks in his life. He was hospitalized at 6 months old for food poisoning, his birth mom was developmentally delayed and didn’t realize baby fromula needed refrigeration in Texas at summer temperatures.

    He was to endure more tragedy being molested by both parents and was involved in incestual abuse with his baby brother..they were aged 2 and 3.
    His mother left the perpertrator and moved up north. It was at this time that the 3 and 1/2 year old ended up displaying and reporting the fact that abuse was at hand of mother and father!! The state stepped in they were placed in foster care. They were soon placed in seperate homes due to displays of incestual behavior. My son in later years carried the guilt of having “broken up” the family. The hardest part was being separated from his brother, the only loving, trusting person in his life. well I see comment has surpassed word limit it seems.

    To make a long story short, I know there won’t be a card in the mail or a visit Sunday, but I am grateful to have been able to raise this young man into adulthood. He is a kind young man, compassionate to all(except us) but thats not surprising. I am proud of how he does treat others and the joy he has for life, no poor mes ever. I am lucky that he is able to talk and is physically a healthy young man. Happy Mother’s Day to me !! We did a great job with the tiny boy arriving with BIG garbage bag figuratively as well as literally. I pray that his load has lessened as he has grown and has been loved and been shown kindness and love abundantly as he dispenses it as well.

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