Posts Tagged ‘Sexuality’
Sex is as fundamental to human beings as eating. Desiring food and the need to eat is innate; we are hardwired for it. Similarly, our desire for sexual activity is innate; we are programed to desire sex.
Most sexual dysfunction occurs because of faulty beliefs and attitudes about sexuality, poor habits, ignorance, and early experiences. There are some sexual dysfunctions that are precipitated by physiological, biological, or chemical factors. However, all physiological dysfunctions have a psychological component. When men are unable to obtain or maintain an erection, whether from physiological or psychological causes, they feel inferior, less manly. When a woman is unable to reach orgasm she feels less feminine. Therefore, in all cases of sexual dysfunction it is necessary to attend to the psychological aspects of the difficulty and what it means to the individual.
Despite the fact that we live in the post-Victorian, post-human potential movement, post-free love movement, we are still uncomfortable with the our own sexuality. One would think that with all of the talk about sex, all of the books written about sex, and all of the movies depicting sexuality, we would finally have reached a point in our evolution where we would be as comfortable talking about and experimenting with sex as we are talking about food, sharing sexual information as readily as we share recipes. But this is not the case.
A couple came to see me recently precipitated by the wife discovering that her husband had visited a massage parlor where, in an addition to a regular massage, he received what is known in the massage business as a “happy ending”, i.e., the masseuse masturbated him to orgasm.
The recent trilogy, 50 Shades of Grey by E. L. James, has taken the book world by storm with all three volumes making the NY Times best sellers list. People around the world, especially women, have been reading these books by the millions. Why? Because they are hot! We’re talking smokin’ hot. Back in my day they never would have been published much less talked about in polite company. If sold, they would be done so in back rooms and sold brown paper bags.