I recently had a phone conversation that went something like this:
Posts Tagged ‘relationship’
Interrupters: me-first talkers
Sunday, January 1st, 2012Making Internet Dating Work for You (Part 2)
Tuesday, November 1st, 2011
In my last post I advised that because of the anonymity of the Internet you should proceed with caution. People often are not honest about who they are and tend to present a false image (literally in the case of their photo). Frequently people meet face-to-face too early relying too much on their visual impression which often clouds judgment where they tend to overlook subtle clues and warning signs that this might not be someone right for you. Hence, I suggested that you take your time getting to know who it is that you are connecting with. I suggested that you do some homework before jumping into an actual dating situation.
What does it mean to be supportive?
Saturday, June 18th, 2011
We often want support from others. Often I hear patients sadly indicate that their family or spouse is not supportive of them. On the other hand, they are happy to report when they feel supported by their friends. We seek people who we feel are on our side. We appreciate those who say ” I have your back.” Sometimes we describe someone as having been very supportive; other times we feel that someone is not being supportive. We use the word support when we contribute to a cause, e.g., I support various charities by making a donation. Psychologists often recommend supportive therapy. Exactly what is support, how do we give it, and how do we ask for it? What is it that we are looking for when we seek support?
When Do We Stop Being Parents: A Grandparent’s Dilemma
Thursday, May 12th, 2011
After 20-plus years of parenting, many (if not most) parents look forward to the day when they can stop the daily worry, carpooling, trekking off to soccer games, baseball and basketball practice, orthodontist appointments, etc. They look forward to days when they can live an adult-centered life rather than a child-centered one. These parents look forward to becoming grandparents when they can enjoy their grandchildren, attend their events, and even have the occasional sleep-over. It has been said that the best part of being a grandparent is that they have all the joys of parenthood without all of the responsibilities; they can play with grandchildren and then give them back to their parents, leaving the job of discipline, character-building, and the day-to-day stress of parenthood with the drop-off.
Deperate Mother’s Plea
Tuesday, April 5th, 2011
I am 38 year old mother of four school age children. I am working two jobs and have been in a relationship for two years with a man with who has two teenagers. His children don’t like me and my children are not wild about him. We have fallen in love; or I think it is love. A month ago he got drunk and proposed. I said “someday” even though my gut said no. I am now trying to figure out how to get out of the relationship. I don’t think we are compatible. My children say he is not the one and deep down I know it too. I don’t want to hurt him. I owe him a lot, mostly financially. I have never been alone. I am afraid of letting go of something that maybe God wants me to have and I don’t know it. I am very ill now trying to figure this out. HELP?!
My Husband Is Not Attracted to Me
Sunday, March 20th, 2011
My husband is not attracted to me AT ALL. We have been together almost three years. We are both 36 years old and this is the second marriage for both of us. The first six months of our relationship was great; we had sex two or three times a week. In the last two years I think we have had sex five times. We have had sex twice in the last year. Now I am eight months pregnant. Every time I try to talk to him about our sex life, it turns into a huge argument. I am at my wits end and considering leaving him after the baby is born. He says he loves me, but is stressed out from work. Or he accuses me of only being interested in sex; he calls me a whore because I ask him for sex. I am an attractive woman and I never have had this problem with anyone in my life. Please help me!!!
Valentine’s Day: A Celebration of Love
Sunday, February 13th, 2011For years I thought of Valentine’s Day as another Hallmark event sponsored by merchants as an opportunity to get their hand into my wallet. I thought it was hokey. Twenty-six years ago on Valentine’s Day all of that cynicism changed. For that was the day I married my wife. At that time I thought I was being both clever and romantic. I figured that I could get a two-fer; I could celebrate our anniversary and Valentine’s Day with one gift, one dinner, and be done with it. It didn’t quite turn out that way as my brilliant idea was quickly dismissed by Mrs. D as she looked at me with her beautiful, big brown eyes and a look of disappointment and a “you’ve gotta be kidding me” on her face.
Do You Listen or Wait to Talk?
Wednesday, November 10th, 2010
Some people listen, while others simply wait to talk. We have all have had the experience of talking with someone who seems to be formulating their response even before we have completed our thought. We have been with folks who cannot wait to get their point of view expressed even as we are talking. They talk over us, they interrupt, or they simply glass over as we are talking. Sometimes their response is not even relevant to what we were saying. These people are more interested in what they have to say than they are in hearing what we are saying. The experience of talking with them can be both frustrating and unsatisfying.
Sex Is Not a Sport
Friday, September 24th, 2010Though often talked about as though it was a sport, sex is not a sport. Perhaps if it were a sport, just like with any other sport, people would be open to receive coaching, would talk about it at the dinner table, they could take lessons; in fact, there might even be classes in high school devoted to the sport of sex. But as it is, even sex education is banned in most schools.
Faux Connection: Social Media and Texting
Wednesday, September 15th, 2010I remember the days when I would receive letters from friends and kids would cherish letters from parents when they were away at school or camp. I remember keeping in touch with friends through lengthy letters describing our respective lives, thoughts, and feelings about life and the world. We would spend hours collecting our thoughts, crafting a letter, and mailing it. Then we would wait for a response. When it came, we would have a cup of coffee and read and re-read the letters. We would save the letters and read them again later in the day, savoring the virtual presence of the other person and what he or she had to say. The letters were a form of human connection. There was a depth to the letters since both parties knew the time it took to write them and then to read them. It was an intimate dialogue created on paper.
