As I watch my friends age, I am reminded of the old maxim, “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks”. Even those friends who are constantly learning, staying current on the latest technology, and open to explore and discover new adventures, in certain areas of their life they can be as stubborn as mules. They become especially stubborn when it comes to areas concerning their health and declining abilities.
One in 56 children are abused and 61 percent of children are neglected. An astonishing statistic! In all 50 states we must have a license to drive an automobile. We have to have a license to marry. But anyone can become a parent. No license, no age requirement, no nothing…just have sex, fertilize an egg, bingo, one becomes a parent. And exactly what makes someone fit to parent? What makes someone think that just by bringing a child into the world they are fit to parent that child?
Many of my patients have wondered why they fall in love with someone and then, after a few weeks or months, the passion that they initially felt dissipates and the relationship ends. They become cynical about the prospects of being able to maintain a long-term passionate relationship and wondering whether they will have to settle for a boring relationship. They question whether passion and romance can be sustain over the long haul.
I have often said, aging is on the calendar, youthfulness is a state of mind. We all know people that though they are in their 30s, 40s, or 50s who appear to be much older, not only in looks but in spirit. We experience them as old; and they may describe themselves as old. They might say such things as, “I feel old” or “I am too old for this activity” or “I feel my age.” On the other hand, we also have experienced people who though by calendar standards are in their 60s, 70s, 80s, or even 90s, who we describe as a “young 70 year old” or “80 years young.” These people have a spirit or countenance about them that gives the impression of youthfulness. So what’s up with that? How is that some people are old before their time, while others remain young well into old age?
A woman tells me that she is pregnant. She is happy and scared. Happy that she is going to have a baby and scared that she won’t be able to control her weight by her usual methods: purging and laxatives. She is anorectic and bulimic. Another young woman tells me that she is getting big as a house from overeating, but she cannot stop herself. She constantly has to buy new clothes, but she is running out of money. She is a compulsive over-eater.
I am 38 year old mother of four school age children. I am working two jobs and have been in a relationship for two years with a man with who has two teenagers. His children don’t like me and my children are not wild about him. We have fallen in love; or I think it is love. A month ago he got drunk and proposed. I said “someday” even though my gut said no. I am now trying to figure out how to get out of the relationship. I don’t think we are compatible. My children say he is not the one and deep down I know it too. I don’t want to hurt him. I owe him a lot, mostly financially. I have never been alone. I am afraid of letting go of something that maybe God wants me to have and I don’t know it. I am very ill now trying to figure this out. HELP?!
People have often asked me why I spend so much time volunteering with various community service organizations. There are many different answers to this question. The simplest is that it makes me feel good about myself.
I was stupid enough to have a relationship with a married man. We’ve been together for two years. He has been married for nine years. Recently, his wife who has always been emotionally abusive, found out about us and has done a complete turn around. She is suddenly willing to go to therapy, to think about his needs, etc. after nine years of the absolute opposite behavior. He says he loves me and has always maintained that he won’t let her ‘trap’ him again (they were married because she got pregnant). Yet she’s once again manipulated him (even after she kicked him out of his home, wrote me a letter about how terrible he is, and forbade him from talking to his kids) and he’s decided to “give her another chance”. I love him too much to let her hurt him again and I see it happening all over. What do I do?
It was only for seconds that the earth shook, but for many it seemed like a life time. Whether the people in Japan or those in California who experience an earthquake or other major disaster, folks who live through it will never be the same. It disrupts their way of life and perhaps an entire way of thinking about themselves in the world.
Bad Behavior has blocked 420 access attempts in the last 7 days.