We often hear how important family is to our health and well-being, especially when we are ill or depressed. However, what do you do when you find that a family member only brings heartache and stress into your life?
Posts Tagged ‘dialogue’
Dealing with toxic family members.
Monday, May 13th, 2013The empathy connection
Saturday, April 20th, 2013
Empathy is the glue that bonds people in an intimate relationship. When there is an empathic connection, people feel understood, they feel seen. Empathy is not the only way for people to bond, but it is necessary for an intimate connection. Bonding over a common activity or common experience may foster a connection just as doing something for someone else might engender gratitude or appreciation. But in order for there to be intimacy, empathy is required.
Friendship, family, and politics
Thursday, September 6th, 2012
Several patients have begun their psychotherapy sessions with me struggling with their concerns over the economy and the upcoming presidential election. They have expressed their dilemma in terms of the presidential candidates indicating that Romney and the Republicans represent their concern over the state of the economy, developing and maintaining wealth, and supporting big business, while Obama and the Democrats represent their concern over social issues, e.g., abortion rights, gay marriage, environmental sustainability, dream act, affordable health care, gun control, etc. This presidential election reflects their own internal struggles regarding their desire to make as much money as they can versus their desire to live an ethical, humanistic life.
Social networking and Intimacy
Monday, September 3rd, 2012
Social networking is an integral part of life in the 21st century. It has become part of our culture. And it is fabulous when used for the purpose for which it was intended. Face was designed to help keep college students in touch with one another in addition to the time they spent together attending classes, participating in fraternities, athletic events, and other college activities. It was not intended to take the place of real, face-to-face human contact. As other forms of social networking emerged, they were supposed to afford people an opportunity to stay in touch with one another, make introductions, and give updates.
Is a Happy Ending an Infideltiy?
Friday, July 27th, 2012
A couple came to see me recently precipitated by the wife discovering that her husband had visited a massage parlor where, in an addition to a regular massage, he received what is known in the massage business as a “happy ending”, i.e., the masseuse masturbated him to orgasm.
A Word About Online Dating and Dating Services
Sunday, July 15th, 2012
The busy, often hectic, lifestyle adopted by many people frequently does not afford them the luxury of engaging in traditional methods for meeting potential dates and mates. The Internet has spawned a plethora of dating sites, e.g., Match.com, J-Date, e-Harmony, ChristainMingles, etc., where people can search for potential partners from the comfort of their own home and on their own time 24-7-365. In addition to these Internet dating sites, there are also a variety of dating services developed by entrepreneurs who recognize the market for connecting singles with one another and have taken the role of the matchmaker to new levels.
Rules of Engagement
Sunday, July 1st, 2012
Several times a week I hear from people, especially men, wondering about how to engage in more intimate personal relationships. One young man told me that he has a few people with whom he has been friends since kindergarten. Another man told me that he has four buddies whom he talks with several times a week. Both of these men indicated that while they love their friends and feel very close to them, the conversations have become repetitive and predictable. They spend their time together watching sports, shooting pool, and drinking beer or Scotch. They talk about women, work, sports, and memories from their youth. But nothing deep, nothing personal.
Marriage is Like a Garden
Saturday, June 9th, 2012I recently asked a couple who came to see me because their marriage of less than a year was already in trouble, if they had planted a vegetable garden and invested as much time and energy into it as they have in their relationship, what would their garden look like. She said, “it would mostly be a jungle of weeds” and he said, ” we would be lucky if had one small tomato.”
What role does gossip play in your life?
Thursday, December 29th, 2011
I was talking with a patient recently who said that her mother was the person who kept her posted on family happenings. Since her mother died, she no longer feels connected with the rest of the family because her father does not share information. She realized how dependent she was on her mother for keeping her informed as to family happenings. Her father, on the other hand, is a not forthcoming about family matters. He claims that he does not like to gossip. He takes the position that if people want to know about him or others in the family, they should communicate directly with them.
When tragedy strikes.
Thursday, October 20th, 2011
Seal Beach is a quiet beach community in Southern California. A group of women are relaxing on a sunny afternoon gossiping as they are having their hair done. Suddenly the tranquil scene is disrupted by gunfire and eight women are dead and one is in critical condition. A distraught, estranged father and ex-husband abruptly and without warning forever changes the life of a several families and a community. How could this happen? How does one make sense of such an event?
