The old saying, “we cannot control the hand we are dealt, but we can control how we play the hand” is very powerful. Whether it is the economy, illness, accidents, etc., we have a choice regarding how we are going to deal with circumstance in which we find ourselves.
The soldier returning from Iraq with one leg choose to train for swimming in the Para-Olympic games. The young South African with two legs missing trains to run track with prosthetic legs. Another person loses her husband of 30 years and returns to school to study to become a lawyer at the age of 60. We marvel at hearing these stories of ordinary people doing extraordinary things. These individuals decided to play the hand that they were dealt proactively. They decided to empower themselves.
Other people in similar circumstances decide to give up. They go into a state of despair. There are 100s of thousands of people who have been hard hit by the failing economy. Many of these people fall into depression, some turn to alcohol and drugs, while others simply despair and struggle. Yet there are many who have seized this economic downturn as an opportunity to re-invent themselves.
Some people return to school to learn a new skill or to develop a new career. Others decide to become entrepreneurs and develop their own business rather than return to the role of salaried employee. And still others decide relocate to areas of the country that are less expensive and less competitive. They downsize and follow a path less taken. They may even move into communal living where expenses are shared rather living life on their own.
Some people question whether they are at fault in creating their circumstances and wonder whether there is some divine design determining why they are experiencing difficulty. No matter how hard they try, they don’t seem to get ahead. They begin to blame themselves. These people prefer to think that if they do the right thing, work hard, are good people, then things should turn out just fine. When things don’t turn out just “fine” they blame themselves as if they were at fault for the circumstances in which they find themselves. It is difficult for these folks to accept that sometimes things just happen. The unfortunate reality is that often bad things happen to good people. We cannot control how our life will turn out; we can only control how we live our life. It is more about the process than the outcome.
Whatever the circumstances in which we find ourselves, there are always several ways in which we can play the hand we are dealt. The challenge is to decide how we can best play that rather than simply fold up and quit. There is no question, these are trying and challenging times. The old approaches will not work. We must learn to think outside of the box; we must learn to move outside of our comfort zone.
The world today requires that we focus on our inner strengths: our courage, confidence, persistence, discipline, integrity, and humility. Our strength will come from inside ourselves and will determine how we play the hand. Bemoaning the hand we were dealt gets us nowhere. It is easy play the royal flush; the challenge is in playing a pair of deuces!
[Dr. Dreyfus is a nationally recognized clinical psychologist, relationship counselor, sex therapist, and life coach in the Santa Monica - Los Angeles area treating low sexual desire, premature ejaculation, sexual addictions, drug and alcohol abuse as well marriage and relationship communication and intimacy issues. The profits from his latest book, LIVING LIFE FROM THE INSIDE OUT along with his other five books, are being donated to charity through the website Book Royalties for Charity and can be purchased through Amazon.com. Please become a fan on his Facebook Fan Page by indicating "like" on the page by clicking here. You can also find more tools to help you experience a more fulfilling life by clicking here to visit his website.]
Tags: life changes, living consciously, Personal Growth, social issues
