The day set aside for the celebration of love in fast approaching. Valentine’s Day is just around the corner. Are you one of the many who will once again lament the fact that you are alone? Are you being proactive in finding your soul mate? Or are you simply waiting for that perfect someone to knock on your door like a door-to-door salesperson?
I just read about Drew Barrymore becoming engaged …. again. At the same time, I read about Tiger Wood’s ex-wife tearing down a $12.3 million house to re-build a bigger, better one. Marriages and houses, both disposable. Money has little meaning to these people. Does marriage? Celebrities seem to change spouses as readily as teenagers change boyfriends or girlfriends. They buy, sell, and destroy houses, buy huge diamonds, give outrageous parties; everything they do is over the top and unlike anything that ordinary people might do.
I was talking with a patient recently who said that her mother was the person who kept her posted on family happenings. Since her mother died, she no longer feels connected with the rest of the family because her father does not share information. She realized how dependent she was on her mother for keeping her informed as to family happenings. Her father, on the other hand, is a not forthcoming about family matters. He claims that he does not like to gossip. He takes the position that if people want to know about him or others in the family, they should communicate directly with them.
I was recently talking with a friend of mine wondering what she does for the holidays and whether she would be celebrating Christmas with family or friends. She responded by saying that she did not believe in Christmas, that it was a pagan holiday, and that she was an atheist. She continued by saying that as an atheist she does not celebrate any religious holiday.
The end of the year holidays are quickly approaching. Every year at this time we begin to hear the the Christmas carols, the snow songs, and the sales pitches from all of the stores. The malls are festively decorated inviting you to celebrate the joy of the season and encourage you to spend your money buying gifts for those you love as well as those with whom you do business and even those you hardly know. For many people the holiday spirit is uplifting, filled with good cheer and thoughts of getting together with family and friends to celebrate.
Judging from the number of celebrity focused TV shows, magazines, and tabloids, one gets the impression that the majority of Americans are obsessed with what has been dubbed “the culture of celebrity.” The paparazzi track and stalk celebrities hoping to catch a glimpse of them as they go about their daily lives. They love the gossip and delight in taking a picture of the stars in a compromised position. And the public gobbles it up. Tidbits make money.
There has been much hullabaloo made by the Tea Party advocates, religious fundamentalists, and other groups, claiming that marriage is sacred. They use the “sanctity of marriage” call as the reason why we should not legalize gay marriage (a clear violation of the principle of separation of church and state.) Yet, we have many Hollywood marriages where celebrities marry for convenience, money (e.g., the Kardashian marriage), publicity, etc. Marriage makes good press! And these sanctity of marriage groups say absolutely nothing. (A bit of hypocrisy, no?)
In my last post I advised that because of the anonymity of the Internet you should proceed with caution. People often are not honest about who they are and tend to present a false image (literally in the case of their photo). Frequently people meet face-to-face too early relying too much on their visual impression which often clouds judgment where they tend to overlook subtle clues and warning signs that this might not be someone right for you. Hence, I suggested that you take your time getting to know who it is that you are connecting with. I suggested that you do some homework before jumping into an actual dating situation.
Match.com, J-Date, e-Harmony, Christian Singles. These, and many more, are the portals to the wonderful and terrifying world of Internet dating. Internet dating is a part of contemporary life in the U.S. and around the world. It allows people from around the globe to meet one another virtually. Before the advent of these websites people would meet one another in clubs, bars, lounges and other venues designed for folks looking to connect with one another. In today’s world, one does not have to leave the comforts of home in order have a conversation with a stranger. One can even make visual contact through the likes of video chat, Skype, and other web based video applications.
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