The day set aside for the celebration of love in fast approaching. Valentine’s Day is just around the corner. Are you one of the many who will once again lament the fact that you are alone? Are you being proactive in finding your soul mate? Or are you simply waiting for that perfect someone to knock on your door like a door-to-door salesperson?
A managing partner in a law firm decries that the 20-someting crop of new lawyers seem to have a attitude of entitlement, expecting sign-on bonuses, vacations, benefits, and high salaries; “they expect to start as partners”.
Steve Jobs and Oprah Winfrey have a lot in common. And they have a lot to teach us about coloring outside of lines, following your own path, and making a difference. Neither of these icons of our era were born with a silver spoon in their mouths. Yet both “made a dent in the universe,” to use Steve’s maxim. Oprah began her life in rural Mississippi. Steve began his in foster care in northern California one week after his birth. Both of them started from what we euphemistically call “humble beginnings” and by dint of their own efforts, became cultural icons and entrepreneurial phenomenon in their lifetimes.
I just read about Drew Barrymore becoming engaged …. again. At the same time, I read about Tiger Wood’s ex-wife tearing down a $12.3 million house to re-build a bigger, better one. Marriages and houses, both disposable. Money has little meaning to these people. Does marriage? Celebrities seem to change spouses as readily as teenagers change boyfriends or girlfriends. They buy, sell, and destroy houses, buy huge diamonds, give outrageous parties; everything they do is over the top and unlike anything that ordinary people might do.
I was talking with a patient recently who said that her mother was the person who kept her posted on family happenings. Since her mother died, she no longer feels connected with the rest of the family because her father does not share information. She realized how dependent she was on her mother for keeping her informed as to family happenings. Her father, on the other hand, is a not forthcoming about family matters. He claims that he does not like to gossip. He takes the position that if people want to know about him or others in the family, they should communicate directly with them.
For many people, happiness seems to be elusive. For others it seems to be a natural state of being. Are some people hardwired to be miserable while others are hard wired to be happy? I think not. I believe that happiness can be experienced by all people. Yes, even those that are down and out can experience happiness. I have witnessed people who live in mud huts within an impoverished village, tenement housing, group homes, and even homeless folks living under a bridge, experience greater happiness in their lives than those who live in multimillion dollar houses and earn six figure incomes. What can these people teach us about happiness?
I think New Year resolutions are a waste of time. They only serve to make us feel good at the time we are making them. We feel righteous. It is a short term feel good. However, in the long run we end up feeling worse about ourselves. New Year resolutions are similar to eating that high calorie dessert; we feel good for the moment and then have to deal with the bulging waistline. As the old TV commercial used to say, “I can’t believe I ate the whole thing!” Or similar to overspending on our credit card; it feels good at the moment. The pain comes along with the statement from the credit card company a month later. New Year resolutions similarly feel good in January but feel awful in December.
I was recently talking with a friend of mine wondering what she does for the holidays and whether she would be celebrating Christmas with family or friends. She responded by saying that she did not believe in Christmas, that it was a pagan holiday, and that she was an atheist. She continued by saying that as an atheist she does not celebrate any religious holiday.
The end of the year holidays are quickly approaching. Every year at this time we begin to hear the the Christmas carols, the snow songs, and the sales pitches from all of the stores. The malls are festively decorated inviting you to celebrate the joy of the season and encourage you to spend your money buying gifts for those you love as well as those with whom you do business and even those you hardly know. For many people the holiday spirit is uplifting, filled with good cheer and thoughts of getting together with family and friends to celebrate.
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